Abuela's Pantry #154

This is a playlist derived from songs from my childhood CD collection. These are the songs that made me, the songs I listened to thousands of times as a tween, teen, and very young adult. I mean thousands. I always had my headphones in, I slept with music playing lightly in the background so I could shut off my own brain with the songs I knew by heart, and I used to spend a lot of time hiding with music. These bands allowed me to explore my inner reality, while also saving me from the times reality was just too hard, and all I felt was alone.

So 2020 is the perfect time for me to revisit my collection of CDs because in a lot of ways I've reverted to the same isolated, lonely, emotional human I was when I first found these songs. It also humbles me because while I've done a lot of work on myself there's still a lot I avoid even as an adult. There's still a lot of growing to do, but you truly never stop growing even when you start shrinking.


  1. lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off by Panic! At The Disco on A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (Fueled By Ramen)

    PATD was my favorite band from the 8th to 11th grade.

  2. Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)? by Buzzcocks on Love Bites (Domino)
  3. guilty pleasures by Cobra Starship on Viva La Cobra (Fueled by Ramen)
  4. Happy by Best Coast on Crazy For You (Mexican Summer)
  5. The Happiest Place On Earth by Desaparecidos on Read Music Speak Spanish (Saddle Creek)
  6. the future freaks me out by Motion City Soundtrack on i am the movie (Epitaph Records)
  7. Ozma by Shannon and the Clams on Dreams In The Rathouse (Hardly Art) Local
  8. moving pictures by The Cribs on Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever (Warner Bros.)
  9. quarantine by phantom planet on raise the dead (fueled by ramen)
  10. times are bad by adam green on garfield (rough trade)
  11. cry uncle (single version) by P.S. Eliot on 2007 - 2011 (Don Giovanni Records)
  12. Change is Hard by She & Him on Volume One (Merge)
  13. Lies by Marina and the Diamonds on Electra Heart (679 Recordings)
  14. Automatic Eyes by The Academy is... on Fast Times At Barrington High (Fueled by Ramen)
  15. I Don't Think It's Funny by Bee Gees on Best Of (Warner Music)
  16. That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) by Panic! at the Disco on Pretty. Odd. (Fueled by Ramen)
  17. I'll Be Your Mirror by Velvet Underground, Nico on The Velvet Underground (Universal)
  18. Popular by Nada Surf on High/Low (Elektra)
  19. get well cards by Conor Oberst on self-titled (Merge Records)
  20. Mushaboom by Feist on Let It Die (Polydor)
  21. Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley on More Adventurous (Beaute/Brute)
  22. Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl by Broken Social Scene on You Forgot It In People (Secretly Canadian)
  23. They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From The Dead!! Ahhhh! by Sufjan Stevens on Illinois (Asthmatic Kitty)
  24. After Hours by The Velvet Underground on The Velvet Underground (universal)
  25. Blue Like Nevermind by Kimya Dawson on Hidden Vagenda (K)
  26. I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked by Ida Maria on Fortress 'round My Heart (mercury)
  27. don't tell me to do the math(s) by Los Campesinos! on Hold On Now, Youngster (Wichita)
  28. lost in the post by The Wombats on The Wombats Present...A Guide to Love, Loss & Desperation (14th Floor)
  29. Bring It (Snakes On A Plane) by Cobra Starship on While The City Sleeps, We Rule The Streets (Fueled by Ramen)
  30. la tortura by shakira on fijacion oral vol. 1 (sony)
  31. Burnin' Up by Jonas Brothers on A little bit longer (Hollywood)
  32. as you cry by the hush sound on goodbye blues (fueled by ramen)
  33. photograph by Weezer on Green Album (Geffen)
  34. In The Sun by She & Him on Volume Two (Merge)
  35. run by Vampire Weekend on Contra (XL Recordings)
  36. Bow Of Oranges by Bright Eyes on LIFTED or the Story Is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground (Saddle creek)
  37. Azul by Natalia Lafourcade on HU HU HU (Sony Music)
  38. I'm Not Living In The Real World by Belle and Sebastian on Write about Love (Matador)
  39. My Manic and I by Laura Marling on Alas, I Cannot Swim (Virgin Records)