I always thought that getting older would make me better at masking my pain.
As sand slips through the hourglass, I've found solace in the humble act of practice in a futile attempt to forget you.
It has taken my lifetime's worth of practice to master the manipulation of strings tangled to my own marionette. Guarded by guilt, I begin to question if I really feel anything at all with the news of your passing.
Floating amidst the shores of grief, I learn to swim past each emotional wave. Focused on overcoming each pulse in order to purposefully lose sight of the horizon, I have to hold it in. For each tear that is torn from me is lost forever becoming one with the quiet sea.
I know what's awaiting me.
I see the Tsunami.
And soon I'll be swept away.
Apologies for the prose. I lost my grandmother this week and I'm still grappling with the reality of it. Rest in peace 奶奶 you are the strongest person I know and I love you always.
This mix is in part just trying to come to terms with how I feel.