Flow Radio: Coming Waves

I always thought that getting older would make me better at masking my pain.

As sand slips through the hourglass, I've found solace in the humble act of practice in a futile attempt to forget you.

It has taken my lifetime's worth of practice to master the manipulation of strings tangled to my own marionette. Guarded by guilt, I begin to question if I really feel anything at all with the news of your passing.

Floating amidst  the shores of grief, I learn to swim past each emotional wave. Focused on overcoming each pulse in order to purposefully lose sight of the horizon, I have to hold it in. For each tear that is torn from me is lost forever becoming one with the quiet sea.

I know what's awaiting me.

I see the Tsunami.

And soon I'll be swept away.

Apologies for the prose. I lost my grandmother this week and I'm still grappling with the reality of it. Rest in peace 奶奶 you are the strongest person I know and I love you always.

This mix is in part just trying to come to terms with how I feel.

Playlist

  1. Devil That I Know by Jacob Banks on For My Friends (Interscope)
  2. Feel Pain by Young & Sick on Young & Sick (Harvest Records)
  3. Get You To the Moon (Other Remix) by Kina on Get You to the Moon (KINA)
  4. LIFE by Saba on CARE FOR ME (Saba Pivot)
  5. Letsnotcallitlove (feat. Evanturetime) by theodora on letsnotcallitlove - EP (independent)
  6. Lost (feat. Noname) by Chance the Rapper on Acid Rap (Chance The Rapper)
  7. Surrender by Megan Gage & Aabo on Surrender - Single (Megan Gage)
  8. Release Your Problems by Chet Faker on Built on Glass (Downtown Records)
  9. Celine by Gallant on Ology (EMPIRE)
  10. Sweet Unrest by Apparat on The Devil's Walk (Mute Artists Limited)
  11. Drip by Sosupersam on Priority - EP (143 Records)
  12. Grace by Jacob Banks on The Paradox (Interscope)
  13. Dali by Tanerelle on 11:11 (Self-Released)
  14. Steppin' Out Late (Late Night Alumni Slow Dance) by Kaskade on Steppin' Out (UMG)
  15. Shortline by RY X on Dawn (Transmodern)
  16. Who You Do it For by Ramsey on Ramsey EP (Ramsey Sound)
  17. Too Late by The Weeknd on After Hours (XO)
  18. Hussle & Motivate by Nipsey Hussle on Victory Lap (All Money In No Money Out)
  19. Pink Matter by Frank Ocean, Andre 3000 on Channel ORANGE (Island/Def Jam)
  20. Mind Body And Soul by Byron the Aquarius on Leaving the Planet (Eglo)
  21. You Grew Up by Oddisee on The Iceberg (Mello Music Group)
  22. Ordinary Joe by Terry Callier, Nujabes on The Complete Introduction to Northern Soul (Universal)
  23. Howling by RY X on Dawn (Transmodern)
  24. Dejame Decirte (feat. Eddie Palmieri) by iLe on Almadura (Sony Music)
  25. Now by Alex Isley, Jack Dine on Wilton - EP (Blue Note Records)
  26. Silence (feat. Ebz the Artist) by Brenden Powers on Silence (Fang Life Recordings)
  27. Dreamscapes by Chandley Kolb on Transmissions: Soundscapes and Instrumentals (Independent)
  28. Bone + Tissue by Gallant on Ology (EMPIRE)
  29. De Luna by iLe on Almadura (Sony Music)
  30. Ouroboros by Rachel Bobbitt & Justice Der on When This Plane Goes Down (Gammawheeler Records)
  31. Wild is the Wind by Cat Power on The Covers Record (Matador)
  32. Mother Earth (feat. Kealoha) by Taimane on We Are Made of Stars (Taimane)
  33. Slow Up by Jacob Banks on Village (Interscope)